8 Weeks After Surgery: Cleared to Ride Again

I had an appointment with the doctor on April 1st, 8 weeks after the surgery. It was a day of good news. (1) The actual break in my bone has healed well and all of my hardware is still in place where it should be. (2) I was given a prescription for physical therapy to help out with my limp. (3) I'm cleared to get outside and ride my bike again. (4) I'm allowed to go back to work. (5) The pain I've been feeling in my mid-thigh region is a normal side effect of the surgery and nothing to worry about yet.

That's a lot of big news all at once. Needless to say, I was eager to get out and ride! Believe it or not, I was able to wait until about 5:30 for my wife to get home so I could ride with her. It's something she really wanted to do and it seemed fitting to me because I couldn't have recovered as well as I did if not for her.

We did an easy ride and returned to the scene of the crime.

The scene of the crash

Doesn't look like a place where a guy should break his hip, does it? It was an icy day and I was getting ready to make a right turn. I was taking it slow because of the ice, but it didn't matter. Just looking at the picture, it seems likely that I may have ridden over the arrow and slipped there. However, I remember being close to the "only" letters after the crash and I don't think I would have slid from the arrow all the way to the "only" letters. I wasn't going fast enough for that and I know the ground was slippery, but there's no evidence on my bike or on my clothes that I did much sliding on the ground after I fell. I think I fell somewhere in between the arrow and "only" on the normal road surface. It doesn't make for an interesting or satisfying story.

I'm not much of an emotional guy, but I did get emotional being back there. I hope I can get back to the level of fitness I had before and I hope the surgery doesn't have any big long-term effects, but who knows? My life could have changed forever right there and maybe I could have prevented it. I was going slow, but maybe I should have been going slower. Maybe I should have put my knobby tires on that day or run a lower PSI. I still sort of justify the situation in my head by saying that I've ridden in much worse conditions on the same bike with the same tires, but the truth of the matter is that the whole situation was my fault. One dumb decision cost me a lot of time, money, happiness- the list goes on and on. It's a tough pill to swallow because I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to avoid this type of situation in the past. I'm careful on descents. I don't race. I do minimal riding in groups and even then I tend to give too much space to the rider in front's wheel. I've been dropped before because of it.

So was it right to be so risk-averse before? I ended up injured anyway. Maybe I should have just said, "Fuck it" and bombed down every descent, ridden every race, and trusted every wheel in front of me. It might have been more fun that way and maybe the outcome would have been the same.

But guess what? I'm even more risk-averse now. I've never worried about traffic, but I was out riding on Wednesday and the cars were making me a little nervous. I just got so used to the cars in the past that I didn't consider them dangerous. All of the sudden I was back out there with a new perspective and I felt like the next car could be the death of me. What kind of life is it to be so scared, though? I'd almost rather die. I think it's normal to be a little cautious after an injury like this and the worries will probably fade over time as my health gets back closer to 100%. I'm just an emotional mess at the moment. I've had too much time to sit around and think and not enough time out doing things.

Anyway, life goes on and I went back to work on Wednesday night. I also had 7 hours of clinical scheduled for school, so all of the sudden I went from sitting on my ass for most of the day to up on my feet for 15 hours a day. I'm also adjusting to the night shift again, so I was running on very little sleep. I did the whole thing over on Thursday night. There was no such thing as easing back into work. This is all an excuse to say that I've only ridden twice since I got the OK to ride again. Things are more normal next week, so I hope to ride a little each day and we'll see how the leg feels.

I did my first "real" ride on Wednesday and I felt pretty good. Obviously I'm out of shape at this point, but I didn't feel any weird pains or anything like that. I've been doing an hour on the trainer for 2 weeks now, so I had some idea of what to expect. However, we all know that being on the trainer is a lot different from being out there on the road. I was able to transition from sitting to standing without any pain and I was able to stand on a few of the short hills that I rode. I'm going to keep the rides flat for a while, but I do hope to feel good enough to climb Geiger by the middle of April or so. We'll see how it all goes. My best-case scenario is to be able to ride a flat century on May 3rd. That's the goal I'm shooting for at the moment, but I'm not going to push too hard. Back when I was healthy, my attitude was always to push through everything. Now that I'm injured I think I have to push, but push carefully. I still want to have high goals, but I'll try not to be too upset if I don't reach them. In fact, I should probably expect a few setbacks along the way. I have to remember that the ultimate goal is to return to good long-term health, no matter how long it takes. That is my #1 priority.